The showgirl music rises and that spiral graphic with the top hat swirls onto screen - yes, you poor bastard, this could have been your life! Somebodys' billion dollar mansion is Top Billings latest square abode with wrap around views and a water feature. The stairs are somehow suspended above a terracotta warrior and the catering wing has no dishes on the runway marble counter. Two beaming, well groomed children have additional creative space to pursue their entrepreneurial venture, ensuring a Forbes listing before they're five.
We're introduced to the myriad designers that conceptualised the space, with manicured facial hair matching their topiary installation.
You shift uncomfortably on your 30 year old Gomma Gomma, your TV lounge cum home office, sports bar, admin ironing room bathed in a blue glow. You consider how many arms deals must be pulled off to live like that. But at least you gain a free insight into current colour and design trends.
Which starts and ends with a scatter cushion that no one else notices...